Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Perfect

I'm trying to train for a mini triathlon in May. This is difficult because everything I'm doing right now takes large swaths of time—and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym. This is all just to say: I haven't been working out very much.

When this happens, and I'm trying to get back into the rhythm of actually running moving for long periods of time—I begin with yoga. I'll do yoga like 4 times a week or something. Last week I just did it twice. But monday, I went again. The thing with yoga is that sometimes you really surprise yourself. I am not a strong person in terms of how much muscle actually exists in my body. But Monday! I could do everything! I could even almost do that thing where you go from plank into the cobra without my knees touching the floor. This is gigantic! I always have to use my knees! I mean, it was nothing like what it was supposed to be. But, it was the best I'd ever done it up until that point. And it felt: perfect.

Yesterday, I had two pretty gigantic projects due. The terror level for these projects was pretty high since one of them represents my work for the last 3 years. No one wants to have something worthless after 3 years.

Since I've been so stressed out about it, my sleeping patterns have been super off. I haven't slept a lot. Also—I've been trying to grade papers, manage my life, teach, figure out what to do for the rest of my life, etc etc etc etc. No biggie. Despite my most disciplined and sincere efforts, I was just out of time.

Yesterday, I had about 2 hours to finish what should have taken 8. Or could have taken 8.

But I turned everything in.

!!!!!!

And it felt perfect.
Part of the perfect was that I got to talk to a large percentage of all the people I love the most in the world. Literally, I mean that I had probably the funniest conversation I've ever had with my parents in my life. I was making them laugh their heads off. And that is a special joy to me. But, I'm just really grateful for all the people in my life. Grateful for email and text messaging. Grateful for my brother who always stops by my classroom to say, "Hi" (even when I'm practically unconscious with stress).

Yesterday was messy. I only ate like two things because I really didn't have time. I had cramps. I was frazzled. I was stressed. (My students were laughing at me because I was incapable of writing anything coherent on the white board. But—they were laughing, and we were talking about exciting writing things, and I knew they were as excited as me).

It was the best day ever. I did it the best I've ever done.

5 comments:

  1. everything about this post gives me hope.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So happy about all of this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah for you! Your great days make great days for me!!! You are the best!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Emily,
    You are doing so many good things. I'm glad to read this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm glad you had such a great day! And I'm excited for your mini-triathlon...where is it? I'd love to come cheer you on!

    ReplyDelete

the rules: comment moderation is enabled to protect the innocent.