Last year in February, my bishop gave me a calling that made me cry. At first I laughed. But, when I got home, I just cried. It wasn't a strange calling, I'd done it before--but, that made it worse because I knew exactly what it required. I was wondering why God would ask me to do it again. I really didn't think I could do it.
So, I asked for a blessing from one of my friends. He had no idea what was going on. Later, he admitted he thought I was manic depressive. Anyways, he gave me a blessing, and I received a very specific instruction to meditate every day.
I thought that was a great idea. I had all sorts of plans to follow that instruction. But, the assignment began and I had more help than I ever dreamed, and there were more miracles than I ever dreamed, and more loveliness, and more sacredness. I forgot about the meditation.
I didn't forget. I just didn't do it. Sometimes I'd think about it when I woke up in the morning--in between hitting the snooze button on my phone.
I made sure I didn't miss my morning prayers--but I didn't meditate.
So, this year--my goal is live a more careful life. I can't make up for all the missed opportunities for calmness and inspiration--but, I can go forward and turn a little bit more towards God every day.