Friday, April 8, 2011

At the end of winter.

The first time I ever went ice skating, I was 22 years old. I don't really remember what I was like when I was this age. Hopefully someone else remembers. Hopefully, I wrote it down somewhere.

Anyways, I was 22. I went with my older sister.
In the memory, it's like we're little again, roller blading on our street. It seems like that's all we did when we were kids. When we fell, we pretended like it was part of our routine.

But that night when I was 22 and skating on ice for the first time ever, I knew I wasn't going to fall. It's like my feet had been waiting their whole life to balance on thin metal blades. I had no idea why I'd never done that sport before. I grew up in California. Ice rinks weren't around every corner. But, if I lived next door to a sheet of ice, instead of a horse ranch, I'd have been in the Olympics. I didn't fall. Maybe I fell once. It was just like roller blading. I knew it would be.

I love that feeling. When your body or your mind knows how to do something before you ever do it. Like going into a room and knowing just how to organize all the books. Or watching a 4-year old screaming in the pool, but knowing you can get him to swim in ten minutes.

Lately, I feel like the girl who takes forever to change into her gym outfit because she keeps losing things.

I need more time. To wash my clothes. To blow dry my hair. To figure out how to get my bangs to lay normal on my forehead. To drink water.  To eat more than oatmeal, an orange, and candy from the candy jar. I used to wear high heels on a regular basis. I used to vacuum my car once a week. I used to know what to do with my hair.

Two days ago, I accidentally stole an item from a local store--I just walked right out of the store, set it down on the front seat, and proceeded to run other errands. I didn't realize it 'till I got home.*

So, if you've called me, texted me, or you've been wondering why I haven't gotten back to you on something-- will you please remind me? So I can remember?


*dear mom, don't worry, i returned it the item!

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