Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Mormon & Single

The other day, one of my friends posted a link to this NYT article written by a Mormon woman who decided to become sexually active after turning 36. She said she couldn't believe God wanted her to be alone her whole life.

I've been wanting to respond to this article all week. It's been weighing on my mind. The article brings up so many response tangents I don't know where to begin. I understand the physical weight & loneliness of carrying a life alone. It's pretty heavy. When I was younger, my worst fear was never getting married. I really wanted to know why God would make that a challenge for any person.

For both men & women, in or out of religion, there is real truth in marriage. Why else would people still care about it? Not just for the dress and the pictures and the sparklers. Marriage is a true principle. We aren't supposed to be alone forever.

I have lots of responses. I don't know how to organize them yet in a way that is coherent. But I will say, her decision is her decision. It's her life. And the whole point is to make our own choices. I'm just real sad she doesn't see what I see in our religion (what her parents saw), that if we believe in the atonement of Jesus Christ, then any any any trial we face--no matter the magnitude--has the power of bringing us closer to God.

Faith hope and charity have very real power.
And so this is a beginning to a discussion I've been wanting to have anyways.


  1. I've spent the last 20 minutes reading the article...and the comments.

    I didn't leave a comment on the article, as much as I wanted to. Instead I will comment here. :)

    I was 35 when I got married. I 'waited' until marriage. And I could not relate to a single thing she said. It seems that she is looking for far more than what sex will provide.

    Obviously my opinion is based on my beliefs, but I have a real, honest, heart-felt belief in eternity and what it represents...and I would never compromise that for something as short-lasting as sex.

    I'm going to be thinking about this all night long.

  2. Emily, I love your perspective.

  3. I too have been haunted by this article. And find myself using all the strength in my soul not to pass some sort of judgement about the strength of her faith and price at which she is selling her virtue. But after those initial thoughts rushes a large dose of compassion and recognition that I do not know the weight that she bears. I recognize life is a hard and complicated and painful place, and that I can never truley know a person's soul. All I do know is that she has a void and I fear she is looking in all the wrong places to fill it. Sex, even love and marriage wouldn't fill this void. And that makes me sad. I found new purpose in role as a Beehive leader, may my precious young women never face this dilemma.


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