Saturday, January 22, 2011

Mormon & Single: a preface

Okay, so I just want to say a few things before I post.

A. I've been asking some of my friends about their experience being single and Mormon, and I just want to thank them for all of their super honest responses. They are really good friends. I have no idea if they will read this string of posts. But their responses were really beautiful.

B. I want to divorce this discussion from the essay which sparked it. This sounds terrible, but the NYT essay was written from a really honest place which I really appreciate. When I originally read the essay, I thought to myself: Wait! There's another story!  I assume her decision brought her peace & happiness. That's a good thing! But her essay definitely implies things which I don't find true in my experience (example: I've never felt or been taught that my body is not sacred.) (example: there is a place for single women in the religion) (example: not all dudes over 30 are addicted to porn). After reading the essay, I felt totally bummed she'd beat me to it. Shoot! I guess I could still submit something, and maybe I will. Anyways, whatever I post will just be my story-- my version of being Mormon and single and slightly older...than some other people.

C. In my religion, marriage is as an ordinance like baptism that literally brings people closer to God. It's pretty important, and usually people get married sometime in their early 20's. That being said, I think the discussion about being single and wanting to be married also exists outside of religion. I never needed a church lesson to teach me to want to be married. Yes, there are Mormon women who have an unhealthy obsession with marriage, just like there are Catholic women who are obsessed, and non-religious women who are obsessed. Just like there are women in and out of my religion who don't care about being married. I'm just a normal girl, who's known how to have a proper crush on a boy since I was five years old. (wait, is that normal?)

And, yes, I would like to be married.

But, I'm Mormon, and so I also believe sex is so sacred its just for marriage. I could never trick myself out of that belief because every day I find it more and more true.

Anyways, there are lots of women who are in their 30s or late 20s who want to be married. They aren't crazy. Like, I said before-- we aren't supposed to be alone forever.

D.  Hopefully this makes sense.

1 comment:

  1. I've been wanting to read this post since I found your blog, but I waited because I had my own single, Mormon, over 30 post brewing and I didn't want anything to influence what I wrote.

    My post went up today so I came back to read yours. All I can say is, Amen!


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