Wednesday, September 15, 2010

a post about discussing pornography & dating

Click here if you don't want to wait till the end to get the link that inspired this post.

So, some of you know that i'm slightly passionate about taking the lid off pornography. Both for men and women. I'm not one to believe women should just sit around while their brothers, friends, dads, sons, and husbands lose emotional limbs to what the Greeks defined as recording the activities of whores.

Nope. You won't find me sitting quietly.
(Besides, this is also a growing problem for women).

Issues I've observed:
Many many mormon men & women don't know enough (or any) medical/scientific information about pornography or pornography addiction. --this needs to change asap. Double ASAP. The more you know, the more control you have over your own life and your own choices. Not to mention, hopefully, we'll all be raising children someday... and we need to know what is going on from a scientific perspective.

Ensign articles are not a enough. They are like sticky notes saying: Please learn everything you can about this topic so you can teach your children and discuss it with your marriage/dating partners in a healthy, helpful ways.

Even though we can't make choices for someone, it's seems completely ridiculous to sit around and be ignorant (and usually scared...which always causes more damage)

Many single people don't realize they need to discuss pornography with every person they seriously date, regardless of whether he or she listens to the Mormon tabernacle choir whenever they're in the car...

Many single people see this issue as a one conversation deal. I'm not promoting crazy intense, judgmental or high-pressure conversations, but it's something that needs to be purposefully discussed more than once. For a variety of reasons: First, finding out the history (sometimes it takes a few discussions to build trust and get the whole story). Second, if you're getting married-- whether or not your fiancée has had issues in the past-- you need a plan of action to prevent and protect both yourselves and your children.

I find, the more research I do, the more hope I have. Actually, it's a relief.

We live in a pornographic generation. Okay. How are we going to deal with it?

Lucky for you, my cousin just forwarded an awesome article. It should be read multiple times because sometimes the author is very low-key about important things (like the 7-12 month mark, and the part about needing professional therapy).

The best online format can be found here
If you want to download the original file, go here

Please share it with your friends, family, etc.. It's so so so important.

p.s. Lots of times my friends ask about statistics. This article has them.
p.p.s this article should be a beginning.
p.p.p.s. i apologize for my general bossiness in this post... it's late and i need to be in bed. i don't have time to go back through and iron it all out. forgive me.


  1. E, we had this convo before we got married, and it continues to be a topic of conversation in our home. For us neither person has an issue with it, but we talk about how we can continue to prevent pornography coming into our home, especially once our daughter is using the computer. Thanks for posting this, I will be reading it and re-posting it on my facebook!

    p.s. keep up the swimming, you are making great progress! From one swimmer to another- it takes a while to build back up, but once you do you know how great it feels!

  2. thanks for this post emily! i appreciate your straightforwardness--we need more of that.

  3. Yay Emily! I love that you are spreading the word on this issue. Seriously. I agree that we need to talk about it more, so thanks for the article. Pornography is a huuge deal, not just in the LDS culture, but for lots and lots of people. One of my professors works at the VA here in AZ and says it's one of the biggest problems among returning vets, right after drug/alcohol use.


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